What to Write in a Mother's Day Ecard Greeting When you Want to Be Funny Guide

By Chandler Chandler May 7, 2020

Husband to Wife:

• Congrats on raising the kids and me.
• I got you a bottle of wine,I know I’m the reason you need this.
• You’ve handled a lot of shit...literally. 
• To the best wife in the world with the best body in the world. 
• There’s no-one I would rather complain about the kids with. 
• You always roll with me when I don’t replace the toilet paper roll.
• Things not to say to your wife, you may not be perfect but I’m pretty close.
• Understandably it’s a good time to act like I’m a closeted gay man and tidy up the house, cook you a fabulous meal and organize your closet. 
• Thank you for not acting like a (type) insect and eating our children.

Friend to Friend:

• Have an amazing Mother’s Day to my best friend, greatest teacher and free therapist!
• To someone who understands what it’s like to be a little person’s bitch.
• Your support is better than my favorite bra. 
• Mother’s Day it’s time to relax, drink wine, and repeat.
• I hope you get your 19 year-old body back for Mother’s Day. 
• To a friend who understands children are like farts,we can tolerate our own. 
• To a friend who knows mother is a noun for therapist/maid.
• May your Mother’s Day celebration be more extravagant and luxurious than any of our friends.
• To one who understands, a child, the gift that keeps us cleaning...
• To a friend who totally gets why insects eat their young.
• Wishing you a speedy recovery from mothering today.

Daughter. Son to Mother:

• Thank you for acting normal in front of my friends.
• Thank you for not being the most embarrassing mom on Facebook. 
• You gave me life, I gave you this ecard.
• Thank you mom for being loving, sweet and for not cooking (insert funny food item) anymore. 
• To a one of a kind mom, rarer than a bloody steak.
• Even though your boobs no longer appear when I cry, I still love you. 
• Thanks for not aborting me, love your favorite pain in the ass. 
• What do you get a mom, who has already received her biggest gift in life? Me!
• Mom thanks for the gorgeous looks and extra portion of sass!
• What’s important to say to a child who's as funny and gorgeous as her mom is -  you’re welcome!
• Even though you child-proofed the house, we still would never leave you. Love you mom. 
• You’ve always inspired me...to drink more. 
• To a mom who gave birth to an icon…
• What you want to say but shouldn’t ...You’ve always inspired me...to date crazy people, drink more, move out of state…

Mother to Daughter:

• To a one of a kind daughter, which is all we can handle frankley. 
• You’re good-looking, sweet, kind and at times a bit of a pain in the ass.
• May your Mother’s Day be filled with magic in the air, better than unicorns farting rainbows, better than…
• Being your mom makes me smile. The fact that you're stuck with me makes me laugh. 
• It’s not easy being mom...just look at dad...I’m just sayin’...
• Don’t worry my daughter, only the first 40 years of parenting are the hardest...

To Sister:

• To a sister who cleans, cooks, handles tons of crap ... who says we are the weaker sex?
• Pour yourself a big glass of wine aka no guilt and relax.
• To a sister who understands children are like farts and only we can tolerate our own. 
• To a sister who knows mother is a noun for therapist/maid.
• Happy Mother’s Day to a sister who has the best sister in the world. 
• Wishing you a Mother’s Day as cool as your sister. 
• Celebrating you today, the family member that I’m least ashamed to be related to.